Shakespeare's Pizza and Mail Order Pizza
Downtown in The District: (573) 449-2454
Out West: (573) 447-1202
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Shakespeare's Table Tents
John Gilbreth - Employee of the Month, June, 2001
Every month Shake’s employees nominate and vote for one of their own to be Emp o’ Month. The winner gets one misprinted, reject Shakes T-shirt; a White Chip Macadamia Nut Cookie; a table tent full of balderdash to send home; and a $50 bonus.
Late one night, John heard a rhythmic thumping from a vacant
building. Like the spell Maleficent used in 
Sleeping Beauty, it drew
him in. He found 10,456 kids weaving in unison to the most beguiling
sounds he’d ever heard. They were smiling, sweating, playing with
flashlights, being thirsty, worshipping the half-naked guy playing
the stereo, and seemingly having a great time. John had found his
scene.
They also wore cheapy plastic barrettes in their hair. John, self-inflicted baldy, coveted the uniform. So, he had teensy loops of dental floss crazy glued to his scalp to hold them on. However, barrettes violate the city health code for food worker attire. Healthy departments nationwide banned barrettes when Food Inspector’s Monthly reported on a patron of some greasy spoon in Mobile breaking a tooth biting down on a barrette that fell out of the cook’s head. But John couldn’t get his off! Some of the glue seeped onto his head, and fused the barrettes directly to his scalp. It hurt like heck, but he pulled them off anyway, so that he could make pizza by the book.
John explained all this to a grad student in chemistry. He was intrigued: why did this glue work so much better on John’s head? One experiment led to another, and now MU is credited with inventing the stuff that holds the re-entry heat tiles onto the bottom of the space shuttle. The combination of sweat chemicals and bass-heavy sonic energy increases the bonding of regular cyano-acrylate glues 1000-fold, and heat-proof to boot.
You just never know.
Congratulations, John.