Shakespeare's Pizza and Mail Order Pizza
Downtown in The District: (573) 449-2454
Out West: (573) 447-1202
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Shakespeare's Table Tents
Kim Sherman - Employee of the Month, September, 1999
Every month Shake’s employees nominate and vote for one of their own to be Emp o’ Month. The winner gets one misprinted, reject Shakes T-shirt; a White Chip Macadamia Nut Cookie; a table tent full of balderdash to send home; and a $50 bonus.
Kim was EOM last September, but only now can we say that she works here, as she has been at the forefront of an on-going industrial espionage assignment. Revealing that she worked for us would have greatly jeopardized her personal safety, the success of the project, and the spreading of the Great Word of Pizza. Or so we would like to think….
In the never ending effort to make Shakespeare’s what it is, and what the other stores aren’t, and to find out what you like about us and not them, we have to know what they are, and that we aren’t, and that you don’t like, so we won’t be that, and you’ll still like us. So we spy on them. Everybody does it. Don’t be naïve. It’s no big deal. It’s all legal. We don’t steal anything. We just look a lot… and Kim was our eyes. We know how to make the pizzas round, the beer cold, and the pepperonis right-side-up. But how do you get the gum off the undersides of the tables? Is it chisels? Jackhammers? Some exotic solvent? Kim got herself hired at a few places to find out.
She started at the snack bar of a local gym, the Golden House of Hardbodies, where she met Zennie Reynolds, a top-rated kick boxer, all-around fitness guy, and owner of the tightest 39-year-old butt in the lower 48. Kim started taking martial arts lessons from him and hasn’t looked back. "She’s got better balance than a Malaysian Golden Spider Monkey… after two lessons, she could snab a fly with her thumb and forefinger off the ketchup bottles in the snack bar with out knocking them over. I’m forever cutting off my finger tips trying that." reports Reynolds. "With her natural talent… I just don’t know… she’s just spooky."
She never did find out how to keep the gum off the tables. Kim now gives lessons in weight training, striking terror in the souls of meatheads three times her size with nothing more than the simple words: "Let’s isolate some muscle groups!".
Congratulations, Kim.